June 24, 2026
“I lowkirkenuinely beat my meat in class”
VERDICT
GUILTY
You genuinely sat in a classroom — surrounded by other humans, fluorescent lighting, and probably a PowerPoint about photosynthesis — and decided that was the moment. No one in that room signed up to be a supporting character in your lowest point. The audacity of your biology is truly unmatched.
SENTENCE
Sentenced to a lifetime of assigned seating in the front row directly in front of the teacher, with your hands visible on the desk at all times.
THE JURY — 7 votes
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