June 26, 2026
“I made a guy I like watch a horror movie with me because I think it’s really cute when he’s scared and clings onto me, but now he can’t sleep well because he’s afraid of ghosts and I feel very bad. I didn’t realize he was THAT scared. Am I the problem?”
VERDICT
GUILTY
You didn't accidentally stumble into this situation, you built it like a contractor, selected the horror movie as the tool, and then acted shocked when the house you built had consequences. 'I didn't realize he was THAT scared' is doing a lot of heavy lifting when your entire plan was 'make him scared enough to grab onto me.'
SENTENCE
Sentenced to watching every horror movie alone for the next 30 days while he sleeps peacefully, and one heartfelt apology delivered without the word 'but.'
THE CASE
PROSECUTION
You literally engineered a situation to make someone you claim to like feel fear and vulnerability so you could enjoy watching him cling to you - that's not cute, that's using his discomfort as entertainment for yourself. 'I didn't realize he was THAT scared' doesn't hold up when your entire plan was built around him being scared in the first place. You knew he'd be scared, you wanted him scared, you just didn't want to deal with the consequences of it.
DEFENSE
You invited someone you like to watch a movie together, which is completely normal courtship behavior, and you had zero reason to predict he'd develop a genuine sleep disorder from a horror film like an adult man. The moment you realized the actual impact, you felt bad about it, which proves you're not some sadist who enjoyed his suffering beyond the cute cling moment everyone enjoys.
THE JURY — 4 votes
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